When I was 15

LinkedIn recently turned 15 and prompted users to recall [what they wanted to be] when they were 15. I couldn’t remember 15 exactly. But a few things stand out from that blurred together block between 15 and 18.

15

For example, I know in fourth form we got two new teachers who made me imagine myself as an adult woman for the first time.

When I was about 17, I wanted to be somebody’s girlfriend. Not just anybody. There was a particular boy in school. I didn’t even know what being somebody’s girlfriend entailed. I just knew that I wanted to talk to him all the time.

Here are the  things I remember effortlessly  from that time:

  1. I wanted that boy’s attention.
  2. I was always late for school.
  3. I felt very comfortable at school.
  4. I wanted to stop being so nervous in debating matches.

My whole life was centred on school. I hardly thought of what the next big thing would be after school. Perhaps I am not unique in that respect. You knew you had to be at school. That was that. At school, I could do just the things I wanted to do, which was pretty much everything except Maths. The friends, the ‘studying for exams’ gatherings over long weekends at my house, the clubs, Literature class. I was really into it.

Better yet, I could sum up those teen years by saying I was so into myself. Nothing else mattered. In the good way. I was lost in myself, my pursuits. It was great. Then I went to university.

Here’s the lesson I recall effortlessly  from that first year:

  1. Attractiveness is a thing.

There was a boy. We got on. He met my friend later. They got on much better. My friend was more attractive than I was. That was the first time I had thought about my attractiveness, and the first time I had thought about it in relation to somebody else’s.

I now realise that this was just a continuation of the spirit of those latter high school years.

Not quite fit for LinkedIn, but when I was ‘15’, my eyes started to see.

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “When I was 15

  1. All I remeber from being 15 (and other times around it) is wanting to be an artist. I drew whatever I would come accross, though now that I think about it, I wasn’t all that good. But the creativity in me still persists to this day–guess some things are hard to leave behind.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s